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“I Thought I Was Over It—So Why Is the Grief Back?”: Healing After Pregnancy Loss Takes Time (and Help)

You moved on. You went back to work. You smiled politely when friends announced their pregnancies. You even told yourself it wasn’t that far along.

But months—or years—later, something small cracks you open: a due date that never came. A lullaby in a movie. A cramp that reminds your body of what it lost.

And the grief floods back.

Pregnancy loss is not a one-time wound. It’s a quiet ache that returns in waves. And in India, where silence is often the default, women are left to carry it alone.

You don’t have to.

You Were Taught to Minimize It

Maybe the doctor said “it’s very common” or “at least you know you can get pregnant.” Maybe your family told you not to dwell, not to cry, not to tell anyone.

So you buried it. You functioned. You told yourself you were fine.

But grief doesn’t expire. And loss—whether at 5 weeks or 5 months—is still loss.

You may still feel:

  • Guilt, even if it wasn’t your fault
  • Anger at your body, or at others who get pregnant easily
  • Fear of trying again—and fear of not trying again
  • A sense that something sacred was taken before it had a name

This isn’t because you’re weak. It’s because you’re a mother, even if the world never got to see it.

The Invisible Impact on Your Mental Health

Unresolved pregnancy loss can affect more than your heart.

You may notice:

  • Anxiety, especially around health or pregnancy
  • Depression that flares up near anniversaries or milestones
  • Trouble bonding in future pregnancies
  • A numbness you can’t shake, even during “happy” moments

In Indian culture, miscarriage is often seen as a private matter. But secrecy can turn pain into shame. And shame, over time, can harden into silence.

You deserve a different story.

How Counseling Helps You Process, Not Suppress

At Paloma Care, we understand the complex emotional layers of pregnancy loss—especially when no one else seems to.

Our counselors and therapists provide:

  • A space to grieve fully, without minimizing or explaining
  • Tools to process guilt, anxiety, or self-blame
  • Support for navigating medical decisions and next steps
  • Compassionate care whether or not you want to try again

There is no “right” way to heal. There is only your way—with the support to walk through it gently.

This Isn’t About “Getting Over It.” It’s About Honoring It.

You don’t need to hide how much it hurts. You don’t need to pretend it didn’t matter. What you lost mattered—and so does your healing.

Still carrying the weight of a pregnancy loss?
Book a session with a Paloma Care counselor who will walk with you through the grief, at your pace. You don’t have to do this alone.

References:

  1. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34678403/
  2. https://www.ijrcog.org/index.php/ijrcog/article/view/1166
  3. https://www.whiteswanfoundation.org/life-stages/maternity/the-emotional-impact-of-miscarriage
  4. https://www.patientsengage.com/personal-voices/how-can-i-cope-miscarriage-pregnancy-loss
  5. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-to-know-about-miscarriage-grief-and-how-to-cope-5210598
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